Steps to Export from 3ds Max into IMVU using FBX
Version of 3ds Max used: 2016
Mesh, Animation , Morph and Skeleton Preparation
Example Stack

Mesh
Your geometry must be an Editable Mesh or Editable Poly
If your geometry is a Deformable GPoly or Editable Patch, the Skin and Morph may be lost (usually just the morph)
Physique may not work ?
Skeleton
Note: CAT Bones seem to be a struggle for some versions of Max to export
Animation
Just have an animation I guess?
Morph
There is no longer a need to link your morph targets to your base mesh. This is an obsolete step.
Also I have currently not once reset the Xform either. I believe this to be an obsolete step as well.
Simply have a Morpher Modifier on your stack with loaded morph targets
To any Mesh Head makers. You will absolutely want to use FBX to create your heads.
Currently, exporting the actual .XPF separate using IMVU exporters actually will work with your FBX mesh.
Export or Export Selected

Note: It does not matter what frame you export on!
I prefer Export Selected because the Export option will normally throw errors due to the default avatar's skeleton and it typically takes a bit longer to export. However, the errors it throws in a lot of cases are irrelevant.
Export Selected
To use this, you must select EVERYTHING you wish to export. If it's not selected, it's not getting exported. Very quick to export. Any errors thrown should be read.
I exported a 100 Morph Target Mesh in a little over a second.
Export
This will simply export everything, making the FBX rather large, time consuming to export, and IMVU itself takes awhile to read the file. Will most likely throw a lot of errors, as the Default File contains many things the FBX export doesn't like.
FBX Export
My default presets (animation time may vary)
https://gyazo.com/e45a89cb6399c9b6e3ae871fcc7628ea
Geometry

Smoothing Groups
Surprisingly, if you want your smoothing groups to be exported, do not check this box. (perhaps it's just me lol?)
Split per-vertex Normals
Throws an error, I don't use it
Tangents and Binormals
Perhaps something to do with normal mapping. In which case you wouldn't use.
TurboSmooth
PLEASE DON'T USE. Most peoples meshes probably already far exceed a normal polygon limit.
Preserve Instances
I believe you won't use this for IMVU
Selection Sets
I believe you won't use this for IMVU
Convert Deforming Dummies to Bones
Check this if you are trying to use Dummy Nodes as bones
Triangulate
I believe this isn't needed
Preserve Edge Orientation
???
Animation

Animation
To export Animations, Morphs, Meshes, you must check this.
Use Scene Name
Will name your Animation and Morph file names in IMVU to the name of your 3ds Max file
Remove Single Key
???
Bake Animation
Check if you want to record skeletal animation
Start/Stop
The time in which it will record the keyframes
Step
1 Step will record a keyframe every single keyframe
2 Steps will record a keyframe every other keyframe
3 Steps will record a keyframe every 3 keyframes
and so on...
Resample All
Very important
It's hard to explain what this does as I don't know fully myself, but usually it would seem you want this checked. Here's an example of it at work, but I know it does much more than just this.
Example Animation in 3ds Max
https://gyazo.com/8769133f175ab48e212a8b9e78826be1
Resample All: OFF
https://gyazo.com/6e110748ef6a919da191cc94b9eab846
Resample All: ON
https://gyazo.com/ec0b696ff7bf5f390594b9aa5f444c6e
Deformations
Check this if you want to export a Mesh or Morph
Skins
Check if exporting something with a Skin Modifier
Morphs
Check if exporting something with Morphs
Tips
"Selecting everything I want to export every time is very time consuming!"
Use your selection sets to create a selection of everything you wish to export. Just type in the box and press enter, with everything selected that you wish to be in the set, and it will create one.

Everything else about the exporter seems pretty irrelevant to export correctly for the time being
I'll make a video soon on the process of this.